The Journey - Part 3

It seems I’ve asked God for a lot this week. Strength to overcome nausea, desperately pleading to be able to drink one more sip of water when I didn’t think I could, or down another blasted can of nutrition drink. Even with a feeding tube it can be difficult. Inwardly overwhelmed by my second round of treatment, the blessed reprieve arrived. Once again I finally found the strength to turn toward His face and thank Him for another week complete, and another opportunity to give Him the glory. I hope you’ve experienced a portion of His goodness this week as much as I have.

God’s sovereignty: Sometimes there is no other apparent explanation, except that God chooses to do so for the glory of His Son, simply because He is God.

For years, I had been plagued with reoccurring sores on my tongue, chalking it up to hormones, stress-related flare ups, etc. Aside from having to limit my spicy food cravings periodically, I’d handled the menaces fairly well. It was one of those things I just learned to live with. It was in the early fall of 2012, when I began to notice some swelling on the right side of my tongue. Another sore had formed and was persistently irritated, making it difficult to chew and swallow food easily. So when my family doctor suggested I see an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist, there was some concern. An appointment was quickly made and in the days following, the hubby and I made the hour drive to Wichita.

Entering the doctor’s office, we were greeted with the familiar insurance paperwork procedures, and shortly thereafter were led by the nurse to the exam room. It didn’t take long for the doctor to arrive, and after casual introductions he began the exam. After a few moments, he calmly stated, “I don’t like what I’m seeing. I’d like to do a biopsy.”  “Right now?” I asked anxiously. “Yes.” He replied. At this point, I began to get nervous. I had been through two non-conclusive biopsy procedures in the past and didn’t like the thought of having another. Even though the first one was over 20 years ago, it remained fresh in my memory as being traumatic and extremely painful. As my eyes began to fill with tears, the doctor gently patted my shoulder and assured me the procedure would be quick and simple. From the numbing shot to the clip of needed tissue, it took 3 minutes tops- quick and painless. Before I knew it, I was on my feet and had scheduled a return visit for the awaited test results.

As we left the office and walked silently to the car, my emotions began to swell. I suddenly felt like a ton of bricks had been dumped on me. “I…I don’t want to do this.” I choked. My husband, Robert, instantly put his arm around me and whispered with emotion, “It’ll be okay, we’re in this together.” In my clouded state, I suddenly realized how deeply this was affecting him, as well. As we sat in the car to leave, tears flowed. It was then I felt his hand gently wrap around mine, and he prayed.

The old song “His Eye is on the Sparrow” is one of my favorites.

When Jesus is my portion
My constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

What comfort, what peace. As God’s eye peers on the sparrow, my constant Friend seeks us out intentionally…because the God of the universe absolutely adores you and me.

To be continued…