The Journey - Part 13

I am now a full-time stomach tube eater! And truthfully, it’s been easier than I thought it would be. I don’t know if my brain has taken over my food cravings…or God—I’m trusting that it’s God. Certain foods smell and look good, but with intense mouth and throat sores along with dry mouth being the norm this week—the thought of putting anything besides water in my mouth repels me. Swallowing water has even been difficult. I’ve also developed an itchy rash across my upper chest…it’s just lovely (insert sarcasm here). I don’t know if the rash is a normal thing, so the doctor and I will have words at my appointment tomorrow.

Please do not mistake this as a pity party—it’s not. I’ve had a few of those already, and decided they’re not as fulfilling as they claim to be. As always, God continues to reveal His marvelous love by carrying me each step of the way.

Hey, I only have 17 days left of treatment—Praise God for His faithfulness and YOU!

Second Verse—Not the Same as the First

Week 2 of chemo treatments came and thankfully we had a better game plan. Nausea medication was administered every 6 hours around the clock regardless. It helped through day 3 and then the dreaded nausea/vomiting set in once again. I was determined to stay out of the hospital and forced myself to sip any kind of fluids my stomach would allow. I was also blessed to have my sister from Arizona with me during the week and she made sure my stomach tube was put into action…whether I wanted it or not.

Being fed through a stomach tube is interesting. Even though you can’t taste what you’re ingesting, you feel it there. And your stomach still has the option to accept or reject the feeding. Although difficult at times, it was mostly accepted. In hindsight, thanks Becci…you make a great nurse!

By Saturday, I could see the light…God had carried me through the dark tunnel once again. Thank you, Jesus! I had one more week down, which encouraged me to continue to plod forward.

I read something recently saying “God’s strength is enough. But you have to get to the end of yours to learn that.” That spoke volumes to me. I’m trying to relinquish my “strength” more willingly because I know there is no comparison to God’s. Some days it’s hard. I forget, get distracted or most often, lose my focus of my relationship with Him. Sometimes I envision God sitting with his head in his hands wondering if I’ll EVER get it. But praise God, He is always faithful to draw me back into the comforting shadow of His wings.

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.—Psalm 17:8

To be continued…