Suffering

Hello my fellow blog readers / prayer friends!
I have been absent from the blog world for a few weeks--taking a little break--while enjoying my family during the wonderful holidays. I trust you have enjoyed the CHRISTmas season and are experiencing the blessings of the New Year!

Progress update: I am finished using my feeding tube and eating real food. So...ix-nay on the eeding-fube-tay! My plan (the doctors have left this up to me and my eating progress), is to have the tube removed sometime this week. Yay! Stomach sleepers unite--I'm back! 

Basically, my daily food intake is what ever sounds good in smaller portions, and LOTS of chewing. My salty taste buds have returned, I'd say about 25%--depending on what the food is, while my sweet sense is still pretty much nil. It was a little discouraging not being able to enjoy all of the yummy sweets over the holidays. My mom brought over some fudge for Christmas, and when I excitedly nibbled on it, it tasted like bitter cocoa. Ugh. Needless to say, I lost about 5 pounds over the holidays. Don't be jealous. Please, trust me on this one.

I am so thankful for where I am in God's plan on this incredible journey. I have met new friends, connected with old, and continue to be amazed of how God works in the lives of His adored people. May you continue to experience God in the new year as you draw closer in your relationship with Him.

The following devotion is one that I wrote a few months ago during my chemo journey. I had forgotten about it until just today. If you have experienced suffering in your life, I hope these words speak to you as a reminder of the great love our heavenly Father has for each of us.

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Suffering. Sometimes it’s all in the way you look at it.

I wear a hat because I’ve lost most of my hair through cancer treatments. I have a lot of pretty hats that make me smile, and I sometimes get compliments on how lovely they are.

Jesus wore a crown of thorns on his head. He didn’t get to choose it—it was mockingly thrust upon his weary brow, the sharp thorns piercing into His tender skin.  It wasn’t pretty, and it didn’t bring smiles or compliments. But He wore it anyway…just for me.

I have wonderful friends that pray for me throughout my cancer journey. They encourage me with kind words and loving acts of service.

Jesus was spat upon, scourged, stripped and mocked. At one point, He was abandoned by most of his closest friends. He experienced harsh ridicule and false accusations, and was willingly led to Golgotha (a place of the skull) to be crucified…just for me.

Every week I get stuck with needles for some cancer related procedure or test. While not excruciating, if I had my druthers, I'd just as soon not have to endure it.

Jesus had metal spikes hammered into his hands and feet and was left to suffer while hanging on a wooden cross. He didn’t have to, but He endured it anyway… just for me.

Some days I experience nausea and weakness. I can’t eat or drink properly--feeling weak, miserable and alone.

Jesus hung on the cross in excruciating pain for hours. He was without food or water and was only offered bitter vinegar from a sponge to drink. In a dark moment of utmost misery and loneliness, He cried out to His Father, “Eli Eli, lama sabachthani?” (My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?) He was God in the flesh and could’ve saved himself in an instant, but He hung there and endured all of the horrible pain… just for me.

Jesus gave up his life on a wooden cross so I wouldn’t have to. He suffered all the pain, ridicule and loneliness, while paying the ultimate price: His perfect sacrifice for my deadly sins.  He didn’t have to, but because of His great love, He did it anyway. For you and for me.