The Journey - Part 16

Complaining Much?

October 2013

Week one of radiation went without a hitch. It was midway into week two when I began to experience some changes. My mouth and gums began to get tender, making it difficult to eat solid foods. My diet quickly changed to softer choices—pastas, soups and such. I also began to notice my appetite decreasing because my taste buds were pretty much gone. Everything began to taste like bitter cardboard—that’s the closest thing I can compare it to. Food sounded and looked good, but the thought of putting it in my mouth instantly took away any appetite I may have had. By week three I found myself totally reliant on my feeding tube.

It’s not as bad as it sounds. Eating is a cinch—and since I literally have no appetite, I don’t taste anything going in. And I get the nutrition needed. Because of increased mouth sores and an intense sore throat with swelling, the only thing I drink is water—and that can be difficult at times. My doctors make me promise to swallow at least seven times a day so I don’t lose my swallowing muscle function. Who knew that could happen?—But I guess it can. So I force myself to sip water throughout the day. Anything other than water burns like the dickens. I found that out by accident earlier in the game by sipping on an orange soda—whoa, Nellie, did it ever burn! So for now, this gal is strictly on plain water. I’ve also lost my saliva production, so dry mouth is also an added challenge.

Oh, and did I forget to mention the return of acne? It began on my face for a few days and then miraculously disappeared as fast as it came. A few days later, I awoke with a mass of intense acne blisters surrounding my upper chest/neck—front and back—burning and itching like crazy. It’s lovely. I can thank my chemo drug for that. My new best friend is cortisone…not that it helps much…but it’s what the doctor ordered. Oh the joys. I really have to laugh—or cry—I think I’ve done both. Yup, pretty much.

So…mouth sores, sore throat, feeding tube, acne, dry mouth, dry skin…does it sound like I’m complaining? I’m trying not to—just keeping it real. God has complete control of this journey of mine. I’m just the messenger sharing with all of you how my God of relationships continues to carry me. He really is. I truly have much to be thankful for.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who sustains you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.  –Isaiah 46:4

To be continued…