Bounce Back Week!
I wasn’t expecting a lesson on patience this week, but obviously God thought I needed one. My returning appetite was slow and sporadic, which was very discouraging. My head said “eat” while my stomach could care less. I quickly learned that if anything sounded good in the moment, I’d better eat immediately, because the craving would leave as fast as it came. Thank goodness for 3:00 a.m. watermelon binges, popsicle frenzies and chicken soup made by my fabulous sister-in-law, Suzanne. They sustained my weary innards.
I also am learning that every day is a new day with this cancer thing. Emotions go nuts. You feel tired, unproductive and, yes, as much as I hate to admit it...irritable. I even snapped at my diva cat, Suki, one day. She forgave me after some self-indulged sulking – on my part. I’m like that…sometimes.
But thank goodness for a faithful God and answered prayers. My strength is returning, and with God and my prayer warriors I’m “womaning” up for the next battle coming within the next couple of weeks! So grab your sword and shield and let’s do this.
I’m Coming Back to the Heart of Worship,
And It’s All About You, It’s All About You, Lord.
And It’s All About You, It’s All About You, Lord.
If you’re wondering about my singing status, let me share with you how God transformed my heart from what I thought was important, into a restored affection toward Him.
As I shared in an earlier post, as long as I can remember music was a huge part of my life. So much so, I realized I had let music define who I was. God created me for the sole purpose of glorifying Him and He knew if my relationship wasn’t right with Him, my heart would most likely become bitter when cancer literally stole the ability to sing from me. I believe He was preparing me ahead of time—way before the cancer began, to give me the opportunity to let go on my own what I thought was important. I’m not going to lie, it was very difficult. Each Sunday, instead of being on stage helping lead, I would sing with the congregation, quietly filling in that missing harmony part that I thought was so desperately needed. People would constantly say, “Why aren’t you singing anymore?” “We sure miss you up there!” “You should be up there with your daughter singing!” It was hard because I really didn’t have an answer. I only knew God had asked me to step down.
Months went by, but eventually by God’s grace, I can tell you He literally took the desire to “need to sing” from me. My love of true worship had returned--refreshed and renewed. God changed my heart to honor Him long before the cancer had a chance to destroy my relationship with Him! There are no words to humanly explain how that happened, but I do know that I am in awe of my Creator and how He orchestrated all of this beforehand. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to sing like I had before, and honestly, that’s okay. God transformed my desire of the need to sing and restored it with a love for a need to worship—just me and God—solidifying that relationship thing once again.
As I shared in an earlier post, as long as I can remember music was a huge part of my life. So much so, I realized I had let music define who I was. God created me for the sole purpose of glorifying Him and He knew if my relationship wasn’t right with Him, my heart would most likely become bitter when cancer literally stole the ability to sing from me. I believe He was preparing me ahead of time—way before the cancer began, to give me the opportunity to let go on my own what I thought was important. I’m not going to lie, it was very difficult. Each Sunday, instead of being on stage helping lead, I would sing with the congregation, quietly filling in that missing harmony part that I thought was so desperately needed. People would constantly say, “Why aren’t you singing anymore?” “We sure miss you up there!” “You should be up there with your daughter singing!” It was hard because I really didn’t have an answer. I only knew God had asked me to step down.
Months went by, but eventually by God’s grace, I can tell you He literally took the desire to “need to sing” from me. My love of true worship had returned--refreshed and renewed. God changed my heart to honor Him long before the cancer had a chance to destroy my relationship with Him! There are no words to humanly explain how that happened, but I do know that I am in awe of my Creator and how He orchestrated all of this beforehand. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to sing like I had before, and honestly, that’s okay. God transformed my desire of the need to sing and restored it with a love for a need to worship—just me and God—solidifying that relationship thing once again.
“I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.” Psalm 104:33
To be continued…
Below is a link to a slideshow that my daughter, Lindsay made of me. Some of my incredible friends (pictured below, as well) showered me with a "Bling it up from Head to Lobe" party. This was my "thank you" to them, showcasing the awesome hats, jewelry, scarves, etc...but I extend it to all of you, as well, for all of your prayers. Friendship truly is a blessing!
Below is a link to a slideshow that my daughter, Lindsay made of me. Some of my incredible friends (pictured below, as well) showered me with a "Bling it up from Head to Lobe" party. This was my "thank you" to them, showcasing the awesome hats, jewelry, scarves, etc...but I extend it to all of you, as well, for all of your prayers. Friendship truly is a blessing!
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