The Burrito

I have been on a homemade Chipotle burrito kick lately...and it prompted me to write about one of my favorite teenage memories. I hope you enjoy!

It was back in the 70s and life was good. My best friend, Mary and I were joined at the hip. We did almost everything together. We sunbathed on rooftops, sang together in school and church, and shared our lunch hour most every school day.

One particular day, we decided to walk to one of the neighboring grade schools to eat. In those days, we had an open lunch hour—no cafeteria—so if you didn’t bring a lunch, you ate wherever your dollar bill would take you.

After walking several blocks to the school, we quickly went through the food line, found a couple of seats across from each other and plopped down with our food trays. The menu for the day was tasty burritos.

As we began to eat, we giggled and chatted in between bites about our cute hair and upcoming weekend plans—not paying much attention to anyone around us.

Not long after we had seated, a distinguished business man in a suit and tie sat down beside my friend. He offered no smiles or acknowledgements as he joined our table, and quietly began to consume his tasty burrito. At first we thought it a little La-T-Da! We exchanged mirrored smirks, but eventually shrugged off his disinterest and returned to our burritos and giggly-girl conversation.

Mary picked up her fork and proceeded to cut into the last half of her burrito. As soon as she took a stab at the little rascal, the burrito instantly jetted from her fork tines, soared with airborne momentum into a perfect sequence of rotation flips, landing effortlessly below her.

In disbelief of what had happened, Mary did a double-take—looking down to her side and then back across the table at me. Her eyes were wide as her hand nonchalantly cupped the side of her face. She leaned toward me and mouthed, My burrito landed on his leg!

I stifled a gasp and my eyes slowly glanced across the table at the man in the suit. He had finished his lunch and was now sitting comfortably reading a newspaper. The soaring burrito had not fazed him.

Mary frantically found my eyes once again and mouthed, What should I do? I mouthed back, Go get it! From her facial expression, it was obvious that was not the answer she wanted to hear.

As my friend’s hand slowly went to her side and reached toward the burrito, her head remained facing me; only her eyes followed her slight hand movement. I watched the man in the suit cautiously for any abrupt reaction. After a few long and agonizing seconds, Mary’s hand surfaced to the table. The burrito was wrapped safely in a napkin and the man in the suit miraculously hadn’t budged an inch. Success!

Mary and I couldn’t get out of the cafeteria fast enough. As soon as we hit the pavement we exploded with laughter—our giggles carrying us all the way back to school.

To this day, the burrito story is one of my favorite memories with my friend.

Proverbs 31:25 says: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Life can be exhausting, but sometimes all it takes is a bit of laughter to lighten the load and refresh your weary day. And I believe God enjoys hearing His adored people let out a good belly laugh now and then. Even if it’s from the tip of a fork tine!

So go ahead…laugh. It may be provide the strength needed to carry you along your own personal journey.

Picture Barbies

Growing up, my childhood was fairly simple and carefree. As in most families, we had the basics of life: clothing, food, shelter…pretty much the necessities. But there was one thing my sister and I longed for early in our childhood that wasn’t on the “necessity” list.

Barbies. Yes, good old-fashioned Barbie dolls.

So not to be disappointed, my sister, Annette and I used our creativity by doing what we thought most 6 and 8 year olds would do. We used our older sister, Becci’s, friends’ school pictures as our “Barbie” dolls. Besides, what else were those little 3x4 black and whites good for, right?

Becci had loads of beautiful girlfriends, so we always had our choice of fashionable pretend Barbies. But in the male “Ken” department…the 3x4 pick of what we called handsome was desperately lacking. There was one picture in particular that was awkwardly squirrelly. And being the youngest, I always ended up with Mr. Squirrely as my “Ken” doll. But all-in-all, it was great fun.

Well, time passed, and it wasn’t long before Mom purchased us “real” Barbies. My sister and I were so excited. Even though we enjoyed our pretend dolls, we didn’t hesitate tossing the 3x4s to the side for the real thing. Especially Mr. Squirrely, in exchange for a handsome Ken doll!

Have you ever pretended, like me, about something you wanted differently in your life? I would imagine most of us have at one time or another.

But the great thing is, we have a God who loves us and desires to give us THE real thing—peace, compassion, joy…and so much more. He always has something better.

So whether it be a 3x4 picture Barbie—even a Mr. Squirrely—let me assure you, nothing can take the place of the Real Thing. And it begins with a relationship with Him.

Cooking 101 With Denise

I had no clue how to cook a meal until after I got married. And even then, there was a lot of trial and error. Good old macaroni and cheese was a common staple in my kitchen, and more times than not, it became the quick substitute from an epic fail meal.

But, there was one meal I learned to cook from a friend of mine while in junior high school. I don’t even know the name of it—it was some kind of magnificent tuna stuff. I was just in awe of how my friend seemed to throw it together effortlessly.

Denise had invited me home with her after school one afternoon. She only lived a few blocks from the junior high and I was delighted to be her guest that day. After arriving, we did what most teenage girls did: listened to music in her room, shared stories of what boys we thought were most cute and discussed what we’d be wearing to school the next day.

Soon after, Denise announced that her mom was working late and she needed to start dinner for the family. I’m sure the surprised look on my face humored her. I’d never heard of such a thing. She was going to cook dinner for the family? After all, we were just junior high kids. Wasn’t that what moms did?

Curious as to what was involved in this “making of dinner” thing, I followed her into the kitchen. Like a seasoned pro, Denise flitted around the room, pulling pans and kitchen gadgets from the cabinets. She even grabbed ingredients from the refrigerator I’d never even heard of. I stood in a stupor of pure amazement as she chopped, tossed and created this incredible meal, seemingly with ease. She even let me sneak a taste during the process. It was delicious!

After my friend was finished, I said, “That thing…what you just did. Would you run that past me again? I want to take notes.” I think she giggled—or shook her head in disbelief—or both. But bless her heart, Denise took the time to slowly explain step-by-step instructions for her goofy cooking-novice friend. To this day, I still remember how, and continue to make the incredible “Tuna Stuff”. Thank you, Denise.

Wouldn’t it be great if when God did something fabulous in our lives, we would stop and say, “That thing…what You just did. Would You run that past me again? I want to take notes.” And then thank Him for it?

I think God would be delighted to have us respond that way, don’t you?

A New Path

I kind of thought I was done blogging for awhile. In each journal entry during my cancer treatment and healing period, I poured out an extremely personal season of my life. And in doing so, it left my “testimony tank” feeling empty and dry. I didn’t know what to do next, so I waited and prayed.

During this dry period, I was involved in a Bible study called Experiencing God – Knowing and Doing the Will of God. I had actually gone through the study at least 2 other times in the past, but for some reason, it really clicked with me this time. In the 12-week study, I learned to wait on God, hear His voice and be quick to obey. The study also emphasized that God speaks through prayer, Bible study, circumstances and the church (body).

Soon after I began the study, I received an email from a friend asking why I had stopped blogging. I explained I wasn't sure what I was supposed to write about and was waiting on God for direction. I didn't want to blog just to blog. I shared with her that God had given me a specific purpose in the beginning of my journey and I had been praying for that same inspiration and direction again. My friend encouraged me to keep writing, as reading my weekly posts had given her strength through some tough times in her own life. I was humbled to think that something 'plain ol me' had written could make a difference in someone's life.

A week or so later, another friend wrote and asked if she could share some of my written testimony in her ladies' church gathering. She also encouraged me by saying my words were an inspiration to her and added, please continue to write! The ladies she shared my testimony with were stirred and asked for my blog address—eager to read some of my previous posts. Once again, humbleness embraced me, and I thought, Okay God, what are you doing here?

Both of my friends had no idea how their kind words were an answer to my prayer. God was speaking through them and I was learning to listen.

So I guess I write all of this to say, I prayed, I waited, I listened and God spoke. He has given me direction once again, and it feels good. 

Thank you, not only to those mentioned above, but to others who have encouraged me to continue on with this blog. Although my life is moving forward on a new path of trusting Him, God's purpose is the same.

It's still all about the relationship.

He Answered

If you’re on Facebook or received my personal email message, you have read of my health update this past week. If not, word on the street is…my PET scan was clear!  The doctors have declared that the cancer is in remission. I am claiming God’s healing grace and offering Him my humble and thankful praise.

The next step is to continue appointments every two months with my ENT along with a six month check-up with the oncologist.

God is incredibly good—isn’t He?

On another note, I would appreciate your prayers for a dear friend of mine as she continues her journey in battling the ugly cancer beast. She is traveling to Kansas City this Monday to consult with doctors regarding a new cancer treatment program. Please join me in praying God’s sovereign hand in her situation as they meet with the specialists on Tuesday.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20

Thank you, praying friends.

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When I ended my chemotherapy and radiation treatments last November, I wondered, What’s next, God? Since then, with thanksgiving and awe of His grace toward me, I began to pray, “Lord, thank you for carrying me through the most difficult journey I have ever experienced. When I wanted to give up—in every instance, Your mercy was greater. Every single time. So God, I surrender. Whatever You want from me, I’ll do.”

Each time I prayed that prayer, I meant it. And you know what God did? He answered.

Several weeks ago, I was asked to pray about sharing a small portion of my testimony in church. I've mentioned in previous posts of how speaking in front of crowds was definitely out of my comfort zone. But as I remembered my prayer of submission, I realized, this was one of the What’s next, God? opportunities. So last Sunday, I did it—I shared. Even though speaking in front of a large crowd was a little daunting, I realized once again, this wasn’t about me. It was an opportunity to share about a relationship—a God relationship.

Oh my. God is teaching me so much during this crazy journey of mine. And for some reason, that only my heavenly Father knows, I’m still here. But one thing is for certain, through every trial and victory I continue to experience God more and more.

Because you see, it’s all about the relationship.

My Conversation With God

The following is a conversation I had with God this past weekend. At first, I hesitated sharing it publically because it was so personal to me. But I believe there is someone reading this right now that needs to know how important a trusting relationship with God is. When He speaks, we need to listen. And when He is silent, we only need to trust.

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I went to bed Friday night around 10:30 pm. My body was tired, but my mind wouldn’t allow sleep to come. As I lay in bed, I began to mentally converse with God.

You know, God, I enjoy so much of what You continually bless me with.

My two spunky grand-boys keep me smiling. I love watching them play, listening to their rough-house giggles as they wrestle with their Gpa, and mostly, hearing them say “I love you, Gma.”

My entire family is an incredible bundle of joy. We express love for each other easily and they bless my heart in each of their quirky ways.

And my church family surpasses all others, in my books, not to mention the wonderful friends You’ve placed in my life.

So, if You don’t mind, I’d like to be around to enjoy all of these blessings a while longer. I guess, what I’m saying is…I just want to live.

And God said, The world you live in is broken. Living here on earth will bring more heartache, pain and suffering.

I know. I said.

God continued, Life in heaven is an eternity full of joy…it is the definition of perfect.

Yes, I know. I replied.

And then there was silence.

I struggled to hear that still, gentle voice again while tossing and turning in bed, but the only sound breaking the silence was the soft snore of my husband beside me.

Several minutes passed in the quiet night.

And then I prayed, Father, even if the cancer returns, no matter what, I will always praise You.

Then sleep finally came…with peace. Yes, sweet peace.

Thank You, God

Medical update:

This week ushers in “the biggie”…aka the PET scan. After several months of successful healing from chemo and radiation treatments, the scheduled scan will determine if there is any cancer activity remaining in my body. So, my fellow warriors, I’d appreciate your prayers this Wednesday as I travel to Wichita for the 2–3 hour procedure. Results will be discussed during my follow-up appointment the week after. As always, I am amazed at God's hovering grace and peace…and of course the continued support from my wonderful prayer partners. Thank you, once again.

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As I sat in my living room typing this today, my eyes drifted over my laptop screen, gazing through the french doors into my backyard. I began to stare at our wooden deck where glistening ice had formed, along with a few spots of dusted snow that had clung to the ice, seemingly hiding from the swirly wind. The day proved bitterly cold.

But in that moment of gazing at the taunts of winter, I found myself thanking God.

Thank You, God, for the seasons You provide. Each transitions beautifully in Your perfect timing. As I tire of winter and wait anxiously for the budding of spring, Spring waits patiently for Your glorious entry command.

"He made the moon for the seasons; the sun knows the place of its setting." Psalm 104:19

Thank You, God, for the wind that blows. It reveals Your faithfulness to a sinner that is saved by grace and trusting in You alone—even when the journey ahead seems difficult.

"And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock." Matthew 7:25

Thank You, God, for the covering swirls of soft, white snow. It is a beautiful reminder of Christ’s death on the cross and through a personal relationship with Him, my sins are covered, completely forgiven, and washed as white as snow.

"Come now, and let us reason together," Says the Lord, "Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool." Isaiah 1:18

Now it's your turn.

Thank You, God,...